Swaziland… That's cute, but what is it?

Unjani from Swaziland!!  ("how are you?" in siSwati)

I’ll admit it.  When I learned about the Hole in the Wall program in Swaziland and was offered the job, I DID wikipedia Swaziland.  I knew it was a country in South Africa, but I just wanted to… double check.  So no judgments here if you thought I meant Switzerland or somewhere else in Asia.  Well, maybe medium judgments.

So after 3 flights and about 30 hours of travel, I touched down on the one airstrip in Manzini, Swaziland as the Hallelujah chorus played on my ipod.  And out of 300+ songs in my Christmas playlist for my ipod to select at random, it felt fitting… like my ipod knew… I made it!

My co-consultant Justin and I traveled together and were picked up from a guy we are working with – Khulekani (camp name = Raps).  As we drive the 30 min to Mbabane (the capital), the first thing I noticed when we entered the town was a KFC and a Curves fitness center.  “How could this be?” I asked.  “This is Africa, where are the huts?!”  And Raps said, “As in ‘Pizza?’”  (Okay, that thing about the huts only happened in my head.)  But the rest is true, and as we rounded the corner we approached the Woolworth’s department store and the local mall.  There is no mistaking the mall.

My first “official” Swazi lunch was cheese pizza from the local fast food joint.  And subsequently I’m surprised at the amount of pizza we’ve eaten here – I guess there are only a few local specialties and many people in town often grab fast food when they go out to eat.  So pizza, burgers, and tikka chicken seem to be the local specialties.  Considering I have only recently reintroduced rice back into my diet, I was glad to see that bread and sandwich-y foods are an option here.  We have had rice with most dinners at camp so far, but rice once a day seems like a walk in the park to me now.

Justin ordering us our daily pizza

For our first dinner on the town, we wanted to really get in with the locals so we went to a divey bar that we’d heard had good chicken.  We walked in and no one was there except for bar regulars who just stared at us.  We asked the waitress for a menu and she said “We have no menu.  Only chicken.”  We were like "Great, we'll have 2 of those then."  She said "Two chickens?"   "Yes, two chickens please.“  “Two chickens, one for each of you?"  "Yes, please, two chickens. "  (And thinking to ourselves- what doesn't she get?  Why is she repeating this again?)

She walked away looking at us weirdly and then came back 10 min later saying the chickens will take 40 minutes.  We were a bit surprised but went with it.  An hour later, two whole chickens on two big plates came out of the kitchen.  So….then it all made sense.  “Chickens.”  I'm guessing they also accounted for slaughter-time in that cooking-time estimate.  See, I just thought she had bad grammar, but I guess she just thought we were pigs.

Other than that I haven’t had many other major language miscommunications.  The Swazi language is siSwati, and it’s a doozy.  There hasn’t yet been one instance of me trying to say a word in siSwati that isn’t immediately followed by laughing in my face.  It’s because of the clicking - there must be about 10 different kinds of clicks you can make with your mouth that are part of this language!  For instance, we give out an award called “Umkhempi Logcamile” to every child.  There is a “click” where the “g” is.  If you say it correctly, then you’ve celebrated the child and called him/her a “Super Camper!”  If you use the wrong click, then you’ve said “Kid who peed on himself.”  I mean, come on….I feel like I’m being set up here.

That being said, the camp here is completely different from the camps I worked at this summer in Vietnam and Cambodia.  I was preparing for intense African summer heat and rugged conditions and mosquito nets at night, but it turns out I should’ve prepared for fancy camp instead.  We are up in the mountains at a guest house/conference center where the weather is cool and there are practically no bugs, it’s amazing!  I want to say that my experiences in SE Asia made me stronger and better equipped to deal with big bugs flying around me at night, but sadly I’ve regressed having turned off my “survival mode” three months ago.

Waiting for public transport- "coombi's"

Mbabane

Mbabane street vendors

A few fun facts about Swaziland that I’ve learned in my two weeks here:

Swazi’s have a lot of national pride for their Kingdom.  They all love the king – King Mswati III.  I’m not exactly clear on what the king does, but I believe he is in charge of the government and also owns most of Swaziland, including the mall.  There is a plaque there to prove it.  He is also on Forbes Top 20 richest monarchs list.  Is it strange that there is so much poverty in Swaziland and yet the king is one of the richest kings in the world?  Nah.

Swazi’s operate on “Swazi time” which means arriving somewhere between a half hour and a few hours late for things.  As one who is occasionally challenged with being on time, I can understand on some level.  But it works out for me here, because in Swaziland, I am always early!

In order to own a TV, Swazi’s have to pay an annual TV tax of about $50 a year… similar to how we might pay property tax or yearly car registration fees.  A Swazi can buy a TV and can get channels without paying the tax, but if the TV tax man shows up at your door to investigate whether you have a TV or not, you’d better have proof of paying your taxes or they will threaten that you could go to jail.  A woman I work with had a TV authority show up at her door out of the blue and she had to backpay taxes from the previous 4 years in order to keep her TV.  And, if you sell your TV or throw it away, you must notify the TV authorities and show proof of where it went so they can track down the next owner and make sure they have paid their TV tax as well.

Swaziland has the highest number of lightning strikes annually than anywhere else in the world.

Christmas is acknowledged in Swaziland, but not always celebrated.  There are a lot of Christians here, and Zionists as well.  It depends on who you talk to about their feelings on Christmas – the child of a woman I work with came home from school and told her that his teacher told him there is no Santa Claus.  He is six.  Seems a bit young to take away their youthful innocence, regardless of what you believe!  At the stores in the mall they play Christmas music and are decorated with Christmas trees and garland, but I guess the mall is the only place that is “Christmas-y.”  Luckily I brought my repertoire of Christmas music to play for everyone at camp and a few strands of lights to decorate with.  Phew, Christmas saved!

It is very rude to use your left hand to give or receive anything.  You should always extend your right hand, and if you want to be extra polite, use your left hand to hold your right arm out by holding onto your right arm near the elbow.  This is done a lot when meeting new people or thanking someone when shaking their hand.

Women cannot own land here.  They must either have a husband or a father or a son (even if that son is a baby) who can buy the land in the male’s name and then the woman can live there.  There are tribes in Swaziland where the chief gives people land if they come to him and say they are in need, and they usually only have to pay with one cow to receive these large plots of beautiful green property throughout Swaziland.

Women should get married by the time they are around age 25, otherwise they may be out of luck and never get married.  Similar to what I learned in Cambodia!  Many people marry young and some end up getting divorced, which is an option here.  But, sometimes the man will be unfaithful and move on with another woman without getting a divorce, and unless the man’s family releases the wife from her marriage, she still has to remain married to her husband (even though he is with another woman).  When Swazi’s get married, they have red mud spread all over their faces as a commitment to each other (instead of wearing a wedding ring!).  If the wife’s family pays the husband’s family one cow, they will “wash the red mud of marriage bonds off her face” and consider the marriage over.  One cow can really get you out of trouble in this country!

Some new words:

Yebo (pronounced “yay bo”) = yes

No = no

Unjani = how are you (to one person)

Ninjani = how are you (to a group)

Siyabonga = thank you (from a group)

Nyabonga = thank you (from one person)

Numbers are spoken in English because they are too complicated for Swazi people to learn in siSwati!

Swaziland has the highest rate of HIV per capita than any other country in the world.  1 in 4 people have HIV, and 50% of people in their 20’s have HIV.  Life expectancy is 32 years old.  This has dropped from 61 years old in 2000.  This is very clearly a national crisis in Swaziland and there is a big push for HIV education here.  I can see it on billboards all over Swaziland – billboards about using condoms, being faithful to your spouse, and taking medicine to prevent the spread of HIV.  I’m glad to be doing this kind of work with kids who need education about living with HIV and how they can make smart choices for their futures.

Justin and I prepping for training

Jaci & Zandy - our Swazi camp counterparts

I think that should do it for my new learnings of the week.  We have spent the last two weeks training the staff on how to run these programs, and now the kids actually come this weekend – I’m gearing up for lots of dancing and singing African songs – it’s what we’ve been doing since I first got here!  I like this job.

APT