"cambodian way"

"Welcome to Camp Lotus"

The 31^st of August!  How is that possible?  It feels like I’ve been away so long but somehow it’s flying by – 2 months down, 1 to go.  I’m sorry it’s been 3 weeks since I’ve posted….it’s a lot tougher to get internet here in Cambodia, so unfortunately the blog is a casualty of Cambodian society.  If it helps, I have blog guilt.

me and the staff on our camp bus -
you can tell it's me b/c of the whiteness.

So I just finished my third week staying in the Village – the orphanage where we host camp - run by the NHCC (New Hope for Cambodian Children).  The first week we trained the camp counselor staff (Cambodian college students), last week was our first 5-day session with younger campers, and we finished our second session with older campers.  This orphanage has about 230 children living here who are either infected or affected by HIV.  It’s the only orphanage solely dedicated to children with HIV in all of Cambodia.  The village is split up into clusters, where the children are grouped into family-type units of about 30 kids each, all different ages.  The older children look after the younger children and act like parent-figures to them in many cases.  There are older staff who cook and look after the children too.  It’s all pretty amazing to watch – children taking care of babies and referring to the older children as “mommy” or “daddy.”  I just refer to them all as “the village people.”

Village babies!

The kids who come for camp do not live in the village, though, they come from the communities and live with families/caregivers.  At first I didn’t understand why we would serve children who live with their families rather than having camp for the kids here in the village who don’t have their families.  Well, I didn’t realize what life is like for kids with HIV in the communities – many of them are so poor they come with nothing but the clothes on their back and are basically treated as outcasts in their families and society. Many can’t go to school and are not allowed to play with anyone because they have HIV, so they stay home and in some cases are basically slaves to their families/caregivers- assuming they could never amount to anything else.  Some of the children who come to camp actually ask if they can stay and live here at the village rather than going home.  One little girl last week told us that no one loves her at home and she doesn’t have any friends.  It is heartbreaking.  I find myself just walking around hugging all of them, all the time.

My house- shared with 7 others

I guess I never thought about how good life could be in an orphanage- the kids here love it.  They never have to worry about where their next meal is coming from and are able to go to school and have friends who understand what life is like for them.  Some of the older kids work as camp counselors for us, so it’s great to have them be a part of the program and share their experiences.  In spite of everything, rest assured that nearly every part of each day is spent smiling and laughing with the kids (except for the part where we send them home).

Camp Staff

So, let’s get down to life in general here in Cambodia and at the Village.  In Cambodia, everyone is like family after about 15 minutes of knowing each other.  We eat all meals together from start to finish – no running around or taking food to go.  At each meal they wait for everyone to join and eat as a group.  I tend to be a few minutes behind because I’m working or running around, so I know it’s time to eat because I always hear “Ann!  Dinner!  Ann!!  Ann!”  It’s cute….and they’re so happy when we all eat together.  Cambodians are a very considerate bunch- always looking out for each other.

playing games...all day long...

Speaking of eating– Cambodians are very sensitive and concerned about making sure I eat enough and that I like the food.  Every time I eat they say “is it delicious?” and I always say yes.  The food here IS delicious, but I have to admit that it’s been getting a little tougher to eat everything on my plate lately….I think the rice 3 times a day with all sorts of unidentified soups and meat chunks with bones is starting to take its toll after 2 months.  Especially when they just continuously add food to my plate - it’s hard to say no.  Luckily I am what you call an “over-preparer” so I’ve been carting around lots of granola bars from home and always stock up on peanut butter, nutella, peanut M&M’s, and bread each week from the grocery store to secretly supplement every meal!  (no offense Cambodia, seriously, I love you)

campers in their colorful jams!

The Cambodian camp kids are so great – and surprisingly pretty different from the Vietnam kids (who were also great, by the way).  Here they seem to be more concerned with being polite and respectful- which, sure, is a good thing, but I would like to see them let loose a little more and just be kids!  They love to line up for everything, even when we have dance parties in the eating area- they dance in their perfectly straight lines!  There are also MANY superstitions in Cambodia and children are afraid of ghosts.  Especially banana tree ghosts.  Some banana trees are good and some are bad but it is hard to tell the difference if you’re not Cambodian.  But if you stand too close to a bad banana tree your soul will get sucked out of you by the ghosts that live in the tree.  We were told it wouldn’t be unusual for a child to show up with a machete or a butcher knife to place under their pillow/bed to protect them from ghosts.  Naturally I made the argument that ghosts are made of air so what good can a machete really do?  But sure enough, first session, wouldn’t you know it that we found a giant butcher knife with one of the campers – I have to wonder how that works when they’re at home making their packing list- “Okay honey, so you have your socks, toothpaste, t-shirts, machete, soap…”

see that red bucket?
that's my "shower."

my fan- battery operated

Now that I’m on my third week staying in the Village I have to say that I’m becoming much more used to the living conditions.  I was initially really anxious about living in a place where there is no running water, electricity only turns on for a few hours a day, the temperature is 100 degrees with 90% humidity, and it’s more common to shower with roaches and lizards than without.  We use fans at night so we can sleep in the heat- they are attached to car batteries for power b/c there is no electricity.  It is amazing how a person can adapt when there is no other choice!  I’ve embraced the concept of using a bucket to shower and “flush” the toilet, and have found that I like being forced to go to bed at 8:30pm when the electricity shuts off- rather than my normal midnight bedtime.   (Though I’m still working on embracing the fact that we have to wake up at 5am everyday- breakfast is at 6!  But I’m becoming less volatile in the mornings as I adjust.)  And really, I am not complaining…the kids in the village do this everyday.  Though I will say, when the generators come on at points throughout the afternoons- that means we can turn our fans on.  As soon as we hear the generators turn on we’re all like- RUN FOR IT!!!  GET TO THE FANS!!!  (And we will not hesitate to cast aside small children and wild dogs to get there.)

village pups that follow me around

In terms of the hotness, I knew the sweating situation would be a little out of control here, but I’m still surprised at the ridiculousness of it.  It’s as if it’s raining on my face, all day long. I try not to exert any energy on extraneous body movements, which is difficult since my job is to be running around all over the place. The Cambodians here have been very supportive of my sweating – they told me they learned in school that sweating is a sign that a person is very fit and healthy because he/she is getting rid of so many toxins.  How adorable of them to say.  The crazy thing is that Cambodians wear jeans and socks and sweatshirts all the time.  They like to protect their skin from the sun which, granted, is smart….but I just stare at them and am like – “You’re wearing a sweatshirt and it’s 100 degrees – how are you still alive?” The other day we were driving back into Phnom Penh and I was thinking that the weather had cooled off and was comfortable that day – and then we drove by a sign that had the current temperature on it – 96 degrees....

high five circle!

This week I found myself in an interesting situation.  We teach the kids about puberty and general health, especially as it relates to being safe with HIV.  So we have an outline of what should be discussed, and sex is generally on that list in some roundabout way.  Well the problem is that it is very taboo to talk about sex openly and especially to teach young girls and boys about it.  There is an incredible lack of education about pregnancy/disease prevention here- and because the older generation does not have the correct information (or know about modern methods), the younger generation is not learning either.  I think they are afraid of what too much information given to young people will do – I find it a little frustrating because if they had the right information, then they could make smart educated choices.  So that's where our camp/education program comes into play.  In fairness, it's not only in this country- it's definitely everywhere to some extent, but I'm surprised at what I'm learning from Cambodians here who are working to educate so many other Cambodians.  Things like thinking that people shouldn't use condoms b/c only homosexuals use them, or that having too many orgasms will cause brain damage, or using the Cambodian "natural prevention” method to prevent pregnancy - which the rest of the western world calls “pulling out” (some schools actually teach them this “method”).  I sat in to listen to a session being led by a local staff member, and I couldn’t help but jump in to clarify some confusion and offer my two cents.  Well next thing I know I am leading the session and they are like “And now Ann is going to talk about sex…”  And then there were 30 girls/teens/older women just staring at me.  It was sort of surreal and, I mean, where do you even begin when put on the spot like that in a room where they have NO idea what sex is or where babies come from?  I went with the basics and just kept talking and tried to be as sensitive and uncomfortably honest as possible.  Most people remember when their parents gave them “the talk,” and now these girls will remember when the strange white girl came to town and shocked the hell out of them.

fancy paper flowers made by
cambodian flower wizards

saying goodbye to the campers

There are so many things that I am learning about Cambodian culture- it's certainly a different way of thinking.  Many Cambodians (not all) have an indirect approach to communication rather than being as direct and blunt as I might be.  So I have to tailor how I talk to people because as I've learned, these lovely Cambodians can be very sensitive.  They try never to make a mistake even if it means not making a decision on their own and waiting to be told what to do so that it is "right"...and they are very hard on themselves when they do make a mistake (no matter how small).  And when I talk to people about how mistakes are good- it’s how we learn, and ask why they're so hard on themselves, why it's better not to be honest to avoid hurting feelings, why cambodians show up an hour early for everything, and why they eat fish sauce that’s been cooking for 3 months and smells like feet, I always get the same smiling answer- it’s “cambodian way.”  I love learning about this cambodian way...it seems to be a nice friendly way to justify everything!

A couple more things I’ve learned about the culture here:

sunset over the village

Cambodians love karaoke and super cheesy love songs.  They play all khmer music extremely loud, particularly on public buses for 7 hours straight.  The meanings are all very intense – basically talking about how love makes you suffer, and you promise to die for love, and your stepmother is going to beat you for love.

On the flip side of that, there are no legal ramifications to blatantly copying songs and just dubbing over them in another language here.  I’ll be in a store and hear a Justin Timberlake song or old school rap song- and it’s the exact same song, only in khmer.  It’s weird b/c I want to sing along, only I can’t.  Nor can I sue anyone for the right to.  It’s a shame.

Though Cambodians tend to beat around the bush when it comes to discussing their own personal situations/decisions, they are very direct when asking about each other (or at least about me!).  They come at me with a ton of questions – What is your degree?  Why do you work here if you studied International Business?  Why aren’t you a psychologist?  Why is your younger sister married and you aren’t?  (they can’t get enough of hassling us whiteys about marriage.  sheesh, Cambodia, get off my back!)

There is a huge push for NGO’s and the government to supply condoms to all social establishments (bars/restaurants) to support pregnancy/disease prevention in an effort to educate the Cambodians about the importance of being safe.  However, many believe that only gay men use condoms and you can be arrested for being gay (or for doing any little thing wrong if you’re suspected to be gay) here in Cambodia – so everyone is afraid to take the condoms.  Women won’t take them because they may not feel empowered to take on that responsibility, and men won’t take them because if they are caught with them then the police will think they are gay and arrest them.  Seems like everyone is working against everyone else.

village school area

There seems to be something in the bylaws of SE Asian culture (or at least Vietnam/Cambodia) that says- “Hey, it’s okay to publicly snort and hack as loud as you need to to gather up a huge wad of phlegm from your insides to hack all over the ground.”  Every morning in our shared bunkhouse in the village I am woken up to this sound, and I can’t say I’ve ever heard anything like it….to the point where I think it has to be a joke because of the outrageously loud level of hacking and gut-snortling for 5 minutes straight.  It’s completely hilarious.  And it’s not only men, women too!  In the bathrooms and in the streets!  For a culture that goes out of their way to be so proper and polite, it makes me laugh that they always cover their mouths when using a toothpick after meals....but yet they'll hack all over the place like it's no big deal.  I haven’t heard this kind of loogey-hocking since Booger took on the frat boys in Revenge of the Nerds II, as I’m certain you’ll recall.

working hard in my protective net

All in all, I am having the most wonderful time out here.  I am learning so much and meeting the greatest people.  I hope I get to come back again someday.  I have many more stories to share from recent travels in my time off from camp, but I can hardly fit them all in one blog post.  I’m hoping to get at least 2 more posts in before my special friend arrives in 2 weeks and we start traveling.  Can’t believe I’m nearly finished with my job at this program already…exciting and nerve-racking to not know what’s next.  Guess I’ll just go with it and see what happens.  What could go wrong????

We’ll be in touch.

APT

30 and washed up?

Alrighty, two Cambodian weeks down, six to go!

Though I've been here two weeks now, I haven't had a ton of time to explore Phnom Penh....yet.  I do love this city though - it is very different from Saigon.  I must admit, I miss the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf coffee place in Vietnam.  I know that's not "traditionally" what one would miss about "Vietnam" considering it's not "Vietnamese," but my western coffee/frappacino treats are hard to come by and I love them.  So sue me.

motorbiking it to work

This past week I spent working at the office of our Cambodian NGO counterpart who we run the camp with - NHCC - New Hope for Cambodian Children.  NHCC was started by an American couple to create opportunities and support for children with HIV in Cambodia.  After finding such a strong need for this program here, they also decided to open up an orphanage specifically dedicated to taking in children who are orphans with HIV.  As far as I've learned, there is not the major stigma issue against HIV here in Cambodia that we dealt with in Vietnam.  Though there are plenty of other challenges to come, I am glad to know that we won't face some of the issues here that we encountered in 'Nam.  That being said, this is the only orphanage of its kind here in Cambodia that takes in children with HIV.  There is still a very strong need for HIV support programs here, and actually the Clinton Foundation has sponsored all costs for medication for any HIV positive person here in Cambodia.  Up until a few years ago, I believe the government was covering these costs, but now the Clinton Foundation is solely sponsoring the meds.  I had no idea.  And a few weeks ago some of the children who live in the Village (that's what the orphanage is called - and where we are holding camp) went to Austria for a conference on HIV and got to meet Bill Clinton and spend a little time with him.  Pretty cool.

you'll note we're driving the wrong
way on a one-way street as we dodge the
oncoming car.  no big deal, apparently.

So I've spent most of this week commuting to the office and around town in a tuk tuk - haggling for prices with tuk tuk drivers and refusing to take rides that cost more than $3.  I'll be honest, I don't like to pay more than $1 for anything.  And everything seems to cost around $1.  It's like Cambodia is one giant dollar store and my cart isn't big enough.

One of the best parts of my week was that I got a chance to go to the Village this past weekend and see a real live Cambodian wedding.  It was in the Village and hosted by NHCC, for two of the children that live there (they are 17- which, granted, seems exceptionally young....but not necessarily for Cambodia).  I drove out there with people from the office, and as soon as we pulled up to the Village and got out of the van, all these children who live there came running over to us.  At least 20 kids came running over to hug us and two babies who couldn't have been older than two-years old literally jumped into my arms to be carried and hugged.  It was too much.  I tried to empty out my purse to see how many of the babies I could put in there and bring back with me, but I suspected that that may not be proper "orphanage etiquette."

The wedding was fantastic though- it was just really neat to see the traditions and be a part of it.  The outfits that they wear are so beautiful and elaborate and the bride's hair and make-up was out of control (in a beautiful way)!  There were bridesmaids and groomsmen, and a traditional wedding can take three days or something like that.  This was only one day.  But generally the bride will change seven times in one day and there is music and dancing all throughout the day.  They even pulled me into one of the ceremonies and had me walk the bride over to the groom in front of everyone - I felt like maybe I was imposing since I didn't know them but everyone was like "no!  you have to!" - they were so excited to make me a part of it and experience it that I couldn't say no.

presenting an offering of money and
good wishes to the bride and groom

the band

I'm very happy I got a chance to see where I'll be living/working and meet some of the kids I'll be working with.  Though the living conditions will be fairly rough in the Village for my 5-week stay, if the kids can do it, so can I.  And if I get to spend all my days with them while I'm there, then surely that will keep me happy and focused on what's important....and not focused on my cockroach roommates and bucket showers.  And besides, this week I survived several intimate animal encounters (lizard, rat, cockroach), so I'm hoping that that's the worst of it!  (knock on wood)  For each of those encounters this week, I'm proud to say there was minimal screaming on my part.  When I realized that there was a lizard crawling up my leg at lunch and that it was not a tablecloth brushing up against me - yes, there was some jumping and light yelling while the locals giggled and pointed at me.....and when the rat came over at dinner I just pulled myself into a ball in my chair and rocked back and forth (silently, mind you).....and then when the cockroach crawled across my toes one night, I didn't realize what it was until after it crawled off me, and since I was in the middle of a conversation I tried to keep my cool.....but then I walked down the street twitching for the next hour (but, no yelling).  So yeah, I think I'm progressing in my reactions.

traditional wedding tent

To parlay the topic from the weddings to relationships and "love" in Cambodia, I've learned a surprising amount in the two weeks I've been here.

There seems to be a very specific process to relationships here.  When girls are around 16 or 17, they start to keep an eye out to find "the one."  By the time they hit 22, if they haven't found someone, they start to get nervous and amp up the search.  By 25, there are parental/family friend interventions and lots of set-ups and discussions about whether an arranged marriage is the way to go.  Arranged marriages still exist, and generally if the parents want to set up their children, the children won't say no (because they do not want to disrespect their parents' wishes).  If, by some horrifically tragic circumstance, a girl turns 30 and still hasn't found "the one"......well, then she is too late, she's past her prime, no hope is left, and it's time to invest in a good rocking chair and some cats.

The "dating" process is a little different too.  I've discussed this with several Cambodian men and women to make sure I'm getting the whole story, and this is as I understand it:

First of all, men and woman can date, but this means means they go out to see if they like each other a couple times.  If the dates progress to a "relationship" then they can be serious about each other, but they will restrict themselves to only holding hands or hugging - you do not kiss on the mouth or engage in anything further, especially NEVER in public.  (As a side note- It is unacceptable for a woman to have sex before marriage.....but, of course, it is totally acceptable for a man to have sex.  I ask, "well then who could the men possibly have sex with, since all the women are abstaining?"  They tell me there are places young men go to find available women.  Then I stop asking questions.)

So, okay, once the man decides to say "I love you" (because only in extremely rare cases would the woman say it first), then he has made a promise to marry the girl.  A man does not say "I love you" unless he is making a promise to marry that woman.  It is not a phrase that gets thrown around lightly.
After the "I love you" enters the scene, then the woman is in charge of deciding at what point she brings up the fact that they'll get married to push the man to make good on his "promise."  Once she asks him "when will we get married?" then he must give her a timeframe for planning the wedding and generally they'll get married within a year or two.  So essentially it is the woman taking charge of bringing up the marriage issue, but it is the man who has the final say on when.

(Again, I'm sure it's not like this in all cases and don't want to generalize everyone - there are plenty of modern attitudes here - but from what I've learned the majority of Cambodians are still very traditional like this)

Monk.  Angry b/c he is too late to
find "the one"?  Or b/c crazy white
girl is taking his picture?

But this leads me back to the age thing.  There is, of course, a double standard here for men.  Men can be any age and get married, and it is not uncommon for an older man in his 30's or later to marry a girl in her late teens/twenties.  Everyone here is really interested in how old I am.  It is not rude in Cambodia to ask a woman her age.  I don't mind, but when I tell them I'm 30 - they are surprised because they think I'm much younger (which makes me feel good about my perceived youthfulness!)  But then next question always is, "Are you married?"  And when I say "no," they look at me like I am a tragic case and how can this be?  Poor, unmarried washed-up girl of 30 who will spend the rest of her life alone because without a husband one cannot hope to find happiness.

I explain to them how things work in America, and that to be 30 and unmarried is not uncommon and people live very happy single lives.....because it is better to be single than to be in an unhappy relationship that you feel pressured to be in just because you're a certain age.  After they stop laughing, they tell me, "But if you want to have children and a traditional family life, you have to find someone at an early age so you feel relief at being able to start living your life."  After I stop laughing, I tell them "Agree to disagree."

I even tried to argue that certainly there are many people who get married later in life or remarried after a divorce and are just as happy both ways.  And I was told that if you aren't married by 30, you will almost certainly never get married.

Here is how one of my arguments with our Cambodian friend Vuthy went:

A:  "Well what if you get a divorce?  You may be older than 30...can you get remarried then as an older person?"

V:  "Yes, of course divorced people can find someone to remarry."

A:  "Well what's the difference?  If I'm 45 and have never been married or if I'm 45 and divorced - shouldn't I hypothetically be able to find someone either way?"

V:  "Oh no no no.....no one wants to marry a woman who hasn't had the experience of being married before.  Divorced people can get remarried, but it is very unlikely that someone who has never married will marry."

A:  "What!  Who would prefer to marry someone who didn't make their first marriage work over someone who would be fresh into the new experience?!"

V:  (( laughter ))

A:  (( smiles at international friendship and new learning experiences, raises a glass to cheers, silently thanks Jesus for being born in the right country ))

Well, that's it for this week's lesson.  I'm learning so much and taking everything in.  I even tried fish sauce that's been cooked and prepared over the course of 3 months and smells like dumpster.  Impressed?  But I really, truly do wake up everyday thinking- wow, how did this happen?  How am I so lucky to get to experience all of this?

Tomorrow I'm off to the Village to embark on my new camp adventure.  We'll be training all the camp counselor/social worker staff this week and then the kids come the next week.  Bring on the babies.  (borrowed, of course....it's clearly too late for me to have hope of breeding my own at this old age.)

APT- out.

Sousdey Cambodia!!

It's been a week since I posted but it feels like I can hardly keep up with all the things that I want to write about!


After a teary goodbye last Sunday to my friends/co-workers in Vietnam - we hopped a 45 minute flight from Saigon to Phnom Penh.  The nice thing about this job is that we have built in friends everywhere we go, so we had a great send-off lunch with our friends from the Vietnam team and got to meet our new Cambodian friends soon after we arrived!  (To all my new friends who might be reading this blog, I apologize if it seems presumptuous to be publicizing our new days/weeks-old friendship without discussing it with you first.  I went ahead and assumed that we had an unspoken friendship agreement.)


I had been sort of uncertain about what Cambodia would be like and if I could possibly love it as much as I loved Vietnam, so I was a little anxious about what was was ahead.  And wouldn't you know it, as soon as I arrived, out of the shadows of uncertainty like a beacon in the night, there it was......Dairy Queen.  Blizzards for $1.65!!  Me + Cambodia = meant to be.


Things are very squiggly here.  Most of the signs are written in Khmer (pronounced "kem-eye") but surprisingly many signs and menus have English written on them as well - so that is helpful.  If we veer off the beaten path to local places with our Cambodian friends, then nothing is in English so we have to rely on them to get us around and order dinner, etc.  Cambodia uses US dollars as currency, mixed in with some riels which have very little value (4000 riels = 1 USD).  Sadly, dollars and riels are not hilarious.  I miss the dong.


In talking with some of our new friends/co-workers, I've learned that Cambodians are very sensitive, emotional, and polite people.  They will go to dinner and always eat someone's cooking even if they hate it just to make sure that the person cooking doesn't feel bad (but then they'll go home and eat a second dinner).  Cambodians also don't like to do things alone - travel alone, go shopping alone, even drink alone.  Our friend Vuthy told me this the night before I was heading off to travel for a few days alone and had bought myself a bottle of wine to drink alone.  I'm not ashamed.  It was my vacation, people!


Anywhooo.....I got my first lesson in the "not drinking alone" rule when Ryan and I went out to dinner with Vuthy and Hoeurng (both colleagues).  Anytime you want to drink, you must do the Cambodian "cheers" every time as a group - for every sip of your drink!  The first time you say "Chul Muey!" and drink.  Every time you want to drink after that, you raise your glass and make a noise saying "ehhhhhh" instead of saying "chul muey" and everyone has to raise their glasses too and say "ehhhhhh" with you.  Though this is a nice, friendly way to drink, it did create a bit of a problem for me.  I kept accidentally drinking and not raising my glass to wait for the group to drink with me every time, and it got me in trouble.  They even moved my beer away from me to teach me to pay attention to my own drinking.  I don't think I was drinking extra fast or anything - though I was told later that women in Cambodia don't drink nearly as much or even at all, as compared to Cambodian men - but having to drink as a group made me feel responsible for setting the drinking pace and I prefer not to have that responsibility.  I like to drink at my own leisure without paying attention to the fact that I'm drinking.  It's like a reflex - the beer is there, it's by my hand, it goes down easy.....how can I be expected to account for (and call attention to) every sip?!  Don't get me wrong though, I did really appreciate the friendly gesture and opportunity to make that weird "ehhhhh" noise every few minutes....so I'm learning to get on board with this drinking philosophy.

Me and Vuthy on his moto

Also on the beer front (I promise this post doesn't only revolve around beer),  at most cambodian restaurants and bars there are these "beer girls" who come rushing over to you as you walk in to offer you different kinds of beer.  It seems that each restaurant/bar has several beer distributors and these bar girls walk around trying to sell their specific beer because they make commissions from it.  I've never been approached so aggressively by 5 women to drink a beer (well, maybe in college...I was in a sorority, after all.  Sorry, sisters).

This past week we have technically not been working and had some time off before we start up work on the Cambodian camp on Monday (tomorrow).  I decided to travel by myself to a small seaside town of Kep and stay in a garden/oceanview bungalow (I've really been testing out the bungalow scene this summer).  The thing I've noticed so far about traveling here, is that when you get a bus ticket - you sort of know what you're signing up for, and you hope the bus will show up when it is supposed to and that it'll take you where you want to go....but you have to be prepared to be flexible....they'll say it'll take 3 hours and it might really take 6.  Or they'll just pull over for an hour to hang out at a "rest stop" where you get bombarded by people looking to sell things to tourists.  I'm adjusting my flexibility level on many fronts here.....last-minute timing changes, electricity/water outages, sleeping with lizards/bats/beetles in my room (I may be done with the bungalow scene for awhile- there are no animal-free guarantees)....it all makes sitting in a clean, air-conditioned hotel room that much nicer.  And once we move over to the camp at the orphanage where we'll be staying - I'll REALLY be grateful for this.

My tuk tuk driver Lake

My time in Kep was really great - I had lots of time to explore and check out the Cambodian countryside.  There are so many rice paddies and people working in the fields - Cambodians work so hard!  I took my first tuk tuk ride, which is the general method of transportation in the cities and countryside.  Motos (motorbikes) and taxis are an option too - but taxis are much harder to find.  Westerners must really stand out here, because it seems that people always know when we're coming.  Everywhere I went in the tuk tuk or just walking around, passing by houses and stores, children would come running out yelling "Hello!  Hello!" - it's adorable.


I went to this old cave temple that is a few thousand years old in the mountains, and when I got there about 15 children came running up to me wanting to be my "tour guide."  I had read about the local kids giving tours there in my Lonely Planet book, but I wasn't prepared for them all coming up and reaching out to me saying "pick me!  pick me!"  I mean, how could I pick only one out of the group of adorable faces?  I picked two (for $1 each).  They gave me a fabulous tour (and made sure I stayed on the path because we were walking through old mine fields) and they even took me into the depths of the cave - in flip flops!  I wasn't sure I trusted them to get me out safely, but they scurried into these dark cave holes like monkeys so I figured if they could do it, so could I.  It worked out and we went deep into the caves on one side and came out alive on the other about 15 minutes later.  I was relieved.

My fantastic guides, Lin and Roary

And as cute as the children were, they are smart and know exactly what they're doing when it comes to tourists.  They were wheeling and dealing to get me to give them my flashlight and go buy a new one and pay all 15 of the children there.....I politely said, "aww...you're cute, but no."

The children- tugging on the American
girl's heartstrings with their cuteness

I also spent some time in the area exploring the riverfront town of Kampot where I got a "seeing hands" massage by a blind person.  There is a lot of that here - many blind people go to school to train to be masseuses and make a decent living in very reputable massage places like this.  I met some travelers as well along the way, and I love hearing their stories of how they ended up here.  I've met so many people that quit their high-paying jobs in finance, etc. to travel the world or come to Cambodia to work with NGO's here...it's pretty inspiring and reminds me why you have to seize the day and take care of yourself first and foremost.  It seems much healthier to have a low-paying job that you love or one that allows you to live your life the way you want rather than being stuck in a job that you hate and makes you miserable b/c you're beholding to that higher paycheck.  Luckily for me, I've maintained my lifestyle on a minimal salary all these years, so a life of luxury is one I've never had to "give up."  (although if anyone reading this has a high-paying job for me in California in October, I may be willing to partially sell out in order to afford a car and a place by the beach.  Great, thanks!)

I am learning much about Cambodian history too, especially during the years of the Khmer Rouge in the late 1970's.  What occurred here is one of the most tragic, awful mass genocides I think the world has ever known.  I'm still learning, but the basic backstory is that the Khmer Rouge was a Communist guerilla group of Khmers (Cambodians) trained by the North Vietnamese to fight with them in the Vietnam War from the Cambodian side.  They basically took advantage of the corruption in their own government and the timing of the Vietnam War and resources they'd been given to take over their own country of Cambodia by "wiping the slate clean and starting fresh." That meaning that they wanted to wipe out the traditional family unit, create a national "famliy" unit where no one was emotionally connected to their actual families, and murder anyone who was educated or above the working-class.  They killed anyone from the cities or farms with any inkling of an education, people working in the arts, celebrities, people who wore glasses, those who loved their families - basically, no one was excluded.  It is insane that this was just barely over 30 years ago and the damage/destruction is still so evident in the landscape to this day.  For example - this beautiful old french colonial house across from the ocean (among many others) was burned to the ground and has been left in ruins since the Khmer Rouge period.  There are many buildings like this.

There are still many homeless people and beggars on the streets that have nothing, and in this case we've been told that we don't want to encourage them to beg by giving them money....but we should not treat them like pariahs (not that I ever would...but some people are terrible to beggars).  They've been through so much and literally have nothing, so we should be aware to be gentler with them even if their begging starts to wear on us because it happens so often.  It is hard to see the small children begging, they don't necessarily know better....but for me I think it is most difficult to see the elderly people begging, knowing what they've endured in their lifetime.  On the flip side of this, though, there are so many NGO's here in Cambodia trying to make a difference and offer the Cambodian people opportunities here to take control of their lives.

Me, Ella (who lives at the Village
where I'll be staying), and Antonia

So with all of these new adventures and cultural immersion experiences I've been having, I happily went out in Phnom Penh last night with some new friends that I'll be working with in the next 2 months.  We found an irish pub and I had a guinness and steak pie.  It was heaven!  I am going to soak up this next week while we're at a hotel and working at the office in the city to enjoy the access I have to lots of different kinds of food, shops, air-conditioning, electricity, internet, and running water.  All this will change when camp starts next week and I'll be spending my 6 weeks here at the Village.


Goodnight!
APT


p.s. Sousdey means "hello" - I will work on updating/sharing my vocab list once I start getting the children to teach me Khmer.